Marriage, a journey filled with highs, lows, and countless in-betweens, often sees love evolve in unexpected ways. In the early stages, love feels effortless and constant, filled with romance and excitement. However, as years pass and life’s responsibilities grow, that initial spark can feel like it fades. Many wives, like Sarah, find themselves wondering if their husband’s love has waned or if the relationship has lost its depth.
Yet, feeling a distance in love doesn’t necessarily mean love is lacking. Instead, it might signal a new phase of growth, one that requires fresh ways to nurture connection and commitment. This article explores practical and faith-based steps wives can take when they feel that their husband’s love isn’t enough, offering insights to strengthen bonds, rediscover intimacy, and foster a resilient, lasting love. With biblical wisdom and actionable advice, these strategies provide a path toward a more fulfilling and spiritually grounded relationship.
Do These 10 Things If You Feel Your Husband’s Love Isn’t Enough
Sarah and David had been married for ten years. When they first got together, every gesture from David felt like a declaration of love. He would surprise her with little notes, bring flowers on random days, and prioritize date nights to show how much he cared. Sarah felt cherished and secure in their love.
But as the years passed, life took on new demands. With two young children, career responsibilities, and everyday challenges, the little gestures faded. The notes, calls, and dates that once seemed effortless became few and far between. Sarah noticed her husband’s love language had shifted to more practical ways of supporting the family. Yet, she missed the romance and tenderness that once characterized their relationship. She wondered if David’s love had changed or if he was simply too tired and busy to show it.
One evening, feeling especially vulnerable, Sarah prayed, asking God for wisdom to navigate her marriage and understand what had shifted. Through reflection, she discovered that her marriage was undergoing a transformation. This was an opportunity to cultivate a deeper bond with David and to find new ways to express and receive love. Here are ten lessons she learned that helped her strengthen their relationship.
Moral Lesson & Reflection
Marriage is a journey that constantly requires effort, understanding, and intentionality. Emotions may fluctuate, but the commitment to love must remain steadfast. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” This verse encourages us to cherish our relationships and understand that real love in marriage is less about constant “fireworks” and more about patience, faith, and mutual growth.
Now Let’s Get to IT!
1. Re-evaluate Your Expectations
Over time, Sarah realized that many of her expectations about love were based on a “movie-like” romance. Although David still cared deeply, his way of expressing love had evolved with their changing lives. She had to examine her expectations and recognize that love in marriage isn’t an endless adventure—it’s a grounded, sometimes routine commitment.
To re-evaluate her expectations, Sarah made a list of things she wished David would do, then shared it with him honestly. Through this, she realized some expectations weren’t fair or realistic given their current phase of life. By adjusting her perspective, she found herself appreciating the smaller but sincere acts of love that often go unnoticed.
- Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient, love is kind… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
2. Communicate Your Needs Openly
Open communication became one of the most transformative steps in Sarah’s journey. She discovered that David wasn’t aware of how she felt or what she needed emotionally. While it may seem obvious to share our feelings, many couples avoid this to prevent conflict or because they believe their spouse should “just know.”
Sarah started using “I feel” statements instead of “You never” phrases. For example, instead of saying, “You never show me affection,” she expressed, “I feel disconnected, and I miss the ways we used to connect.” This change softened the conversation and allowed David to understand her feelings without feeling accused.
- Bible Verse: Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
3. Invest in Quality Time Together
In the busyness of life, Sarah and David found that quality time was essential for rekindling their connection. Rather than waiting for a perfect moment, they created intentional routines to spend time together. One of their favorite ways to bond was taking short evening walks after dinner, even if it was just around their block. They also began scheduling a monthly date night where they would leave the kids with a trusted sitter and spend a few hours rediscovering each other.
Creating quality time together can be as simple as a shared hobby or as intentional as weekly “connection hours” where you sit down, talk, and reconnect.
- Bible Verse: Ecclesiastes 4:9 – “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.”
4. Prioritize Self-Care
Sarah learned that her own emotional state was impacting her marriage. With the constant hustle of taking care of the household and the children, she had been neglecting her health and mental well-being. When she finally began investing time in self-care—like exercising, pursuing a personal hobby, and spending time in prayer and meditation—she noticed a profound improvement in her mood and resilience.
Self-care doesn’t only benefit the individual; it also allows a person to bring their best self into their relationship. When both partners are fulfilled and happy within themselves, they can approach each other from a place of love rather than dependency.
- Bible Verse: Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
5. Practice Gratitude for the Small Things
The power of gratitude can transform relationships. When Sarah began looking for the small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that David showed daily, she realized that he was indeed expressing love. From taking care of the bills to spending time with their children, David was showing his love through acts of service. Sarah decided to keep a gratitude journal, noting each of these small gestures daily, which helped her focus on the positives.
Gratitude is a muscle that strengthens over time. By focusing on the things your spouse does well, you begin to see your marriage through a lens of appreciation rather than resentment.
- Bible Verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 – “Give thanks in all circumstances.”
6. Embrace Forgiveness
Marriage is not a relationship free of mistakes, misunderstandings, or moments of frustration. Sarah found that many of her grievances with David were from small misunderstandings or words spoken in passing. She realized that holding onto these hurts only kept her distanced from him.
Practicing forgiveness is about releasing the grip on past wrongs and focusing on the potential for future happiness. By embracing forgiveness, Sarah found a newfound peace and openness in her relationship. She began seeing her marriage through a fresh lens, one that wasn’t clouded by past disappointments.
- Bible Verse: Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another.”
7. Set Personal and Mutual Goals
Having goals gives a marriage purpose and direction. Sarah and David began setting goals for their family, financial future, and even individual ambitions. They committed to reviewing these goals each month, celebrating wins, and discussing challenges.
Setting goals also allowed them to see each other as partners in their shared journey rather than just fulfilling traditional roles in the marriage. Whether it’s planning a family vacation, saving up for a home, or pursuing individual dreams, goal-setting can bring couples closer by giving them a shared sense of accomplishment and purpose.
- Bible Verse: Proverbs 16:3 – “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”
8. Focus on Positive Affirmations
Our words have power, and this is true in marriage as well. Sarah realized that she was unknowingly creating a narrative in her mind that was feeding her insecurities. To counter this, she began using positive affirmations about her marriage, herself, and her love for David. Affirmations like “I am loved,” “Our marriage is strong,” and “We are working through our challenges together” slowly transformed her mindset.
Affirmations help in reframing the way we see our relationships. Instead of focusing on flaws, they encourage us to look for strengths and potential.
- Bible Verse: Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right… think about such things.”
9. Seek Professional Guidance if Needed
Sometimes, couples need an outside perspective to navigate certain challenges. For Sarah and David, seeking guidance from a marriage counselor provided them with valuable tools to communicate more effectively and understand each other’s love languages.
Many couples feel reluctant to seek counseling, but it’s an invaluable resource that can help couples identify patterns that may not be obvious. A counselor can help to bridge communication gaps, facilitate understanding, and give practical steps for improving the marriage.
- Bible Verse: Proverbs 11:14 – “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.”
10. Deepen Your Spiritual Connection Together
As Sarah and David grew together spiritually, they found a renewed sense of purpose and strength in their marriage. Attending church together, praying before meals, and reading the Bible as a couple became part of their daily lives. Spiritual intimacy helped them understand each other’s faith, fears, and dreams.
A shared spiritual connection can serve as an anchor for marriage, especially in difficult times. It reminds couples of the larger commitment they’ve made, both to each other and to God.
- Bible Verse: Matthew 18:20 – “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Conclusion
Sarah discovered that the love in marriage is like a journey—it evolves over time, demanding resilience, patience, and, most importantly, a willingness to grow together. What once felt lacking in her marriage became an opportunity to deepen her connection with David. True love is not defined by the frequency of romantic gestures but by the depth of commitment and the choice to prioritize each other despite life’s many challenges.
Marriage is a sacred journey, and as the Bible beautifully puts it in 1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Do These 10 Things If You Feel Your Husband’s Love Isn’t Enough FAQ
